Besides Your Neighbor Who Thinks Duct Tape Fixes Everything
So, you’ve got a car sitting in your driveway that hasn’t started since that fateful day it made a noise like a dying walrus and then... nothing. No vroom. No click. Just silence and shame. Now it’s just sitting there like a metallic lawn ornament, collecting dust, bird gifts, and passive aggressive notes from your HOA. Which begs the eternal question: Who in their right mind buys cars that aren’t running? Spoiler alert, there actually are people who will do this on purpose, and no, they’re not weird hoarders building a junkyard art installation (probably).
Let’s talk about your options, because they range from laughable to lifesaving.
The “Cousin Eddie” Option
Every family has one. The guy who swears he can “get ‘er running in an afternoon” with nothing but a crescent wrench, leftover fireworks, and sheer willpower. He will offer you $100 and a firm handshake, then let the car rot in his yard for another decade. You could sell to him, sure... if you enjoy regret and Thanksgiving arguments.
The Listing Site Circus
Ah yes, online classifieds — where non-running cars go to be mocked by strangers. You’ll get messages like:
- “Still available?” (They will never reply again.)
- “Will you deliver it to me, 300 miles away, for free?”
- “I’ll give you $50 and a half-used vape pen.”
While technically someone might buy it, you’ll probably spend more on Advil than you’ll make on the sale.
The Shady Scrap Yard
Scrap yards will buy non-running vehicles... if you don’t mind feeling like you’re fencing stolen goods in a back alley. They’ll weigh your car, tap on a calculator like they’re defusing a bomb, and then offer you enough for a gas station sandwich. And not even the good kind with actual mea
The Actually-Smart Option: DamageMAX.com
Here’s the part where we stop laughing (for like three seconds): DamageMAX exists specifically to buy cars that don’t run. Engine blown? Transmission gone? Missing a wheel and your faith in humanity? They’ll still make an offer.
Unlike Cousin Eddie, they don’t promise to “fix it up someday.” And unlike the randoms on listing sites, they don’t ghost you after two messages. They’ll actually give you a fast, fair cash offer, arrange pickup, and whisk your dead car away like some kind of automotive fairy godmother, but instead of turning pumpkins into carriages, they turn your heap into money.
Time to Break Up With Your Driveway Decoration
That old car isn’t coming back. It’s not “just resting.” It’s not “probably the battery.” It’s over. Let it go. Clear the space. Reclaim your driveway.
And when someone asks, “Who buys cars that aren’t running?” you can smile smugly and say, “DamageMAX.com, and they paid me real money for it.”
Because unlike your cousin, your HOA, and that guy on Marketplace offering you pocket lint... DamageMAX actually wants your dead car.
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